My life had several challenging and unexpected turns that caused me emotional pain and caused me to question myself spiritually.  I knew what I needed – a Stephen Minister.  I started meeting with a Stephen Minister.  My Stephen Minister listened and asked good thought-provoking questions to help me work through the problems heavy on my heart.  My friends and my family, including my dear husband, listened for a while, but their patience grew thin.  Often those closest to us want to see us stop hurting as soon as possible.  But each person has her own recovery timeline.  My Stephen Minister was willing to listen over and over again.  As each new challenge hit me during that year, my Stephen Minister was willing to meet and listen. 

Thanks to that patient, loving listening ear, I was able not only to address my concerns, but also to grow in my spiritual life.

Stephen Ministry is a care ministry where trained Stephen Ministers meet one-on-one with people, called Care Receivers, who are in crisis, in grief, in a life transition, or simply in need of a good listening ear.  Stephen Ministers walk with you.  I did my training years ago at Fredericksburg UMC.  Over the next few years, I was privileged to work with several Care Receivers.   

- Kitti Mann

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Confidentiality is a cornerstone of Stephen Ministry because it is absolutely essential for building safe, healing, caring relationships.

Stephen Ministry is confidential. Stephen Ministers don't reveal what their care receivers have told them. Not to the pastors, not to the Stephen Leaders, not to their spouses or friends, and not to other Stephen Ministers.

Why? Because trust is vital for a caring relationship to be effective. Care receivers are experiencing difficulties that leave them feeling very vulnerable. Discussing their innermost feelings is an important step in the healing process. But in order to open up and discuss that which is troubling them most, care receivers need complete trust in their Stephen Minister and the assurance that what they say will not be circulated to others and become news for gossip.

This assurance builds trust and creates a safe place where care receivers can risk revealing their most painful issues - problems they might not even discuss with close friends or family. Confidentiality helps create a relationship that promotes healing and hope.

Another aspect of confidentiality is that nobody - except the Stephen Minister, the care receiver, and the pastor or Stephen Leader who matched the two together - even knows that a care receiver has a Stephen Minister. Care receivers, of course, are free to tell others about the relationship and who their Stephen Minister is, but the Stephen Minister never tells. This means a care receiver can choose to have complete anonymity so that if he or she doesn't want people even to know that he or she has a Stephen Minister, nobody will ever know.

One final point involving confidentiality involves the Stephen Ministry model of supervision, where confidentiality is also a key element.  Supervision, done monthly, is vital to Stephen Ministry so that Stephen Ministers can pro­vide the best quality care possible to their care receivers.)  In supervision, the focus of discussion is on the relationship between the Stephen Minister and the care receiver, rather than the details of what is going on in a care receiver's life. By not revealing a care receiver's name or any significant details, confidentiality is maintained, and supervision becomes a place where Stephen Ministers can support and encourage one another in ministry while they provide the best quality care to their care receivers.  It's a model that has enabled life-changing ministry to happen in thousands of Stephen Ministry congregations since 1975. 

If you are experiencing a difficult time in your life and think you might need a Stephen Minister, or would just like to know more about the Stephen Ministry program at Fredericksburg United Methodist Church, contact one of the pastors or our Stephen Ministry Leader, Barbara Simpson.

Click here to learn more about Stephen Ministry